Don't you send me to vm
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
