I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
