Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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