my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize