just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
It's blow job season.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
