Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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