I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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