whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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