yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize