Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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