If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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