She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Watching her eat just hurts me
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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