I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
