I'm really into asian looking animals
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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