Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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