can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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