oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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