I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
