Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize