how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
