the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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