3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
