Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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