But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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