tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It's blow job season.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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