My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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