I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Dicks are not precious.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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