He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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