So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
