dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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