Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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