go do what you do best...puke behind churches
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
