Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
