planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
