I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
