I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
