If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
