So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
