Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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