hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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