I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize