dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You had me at "let me see your balls"
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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