Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Never underestimate the power of titties
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize