Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
