i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
