He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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