About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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