I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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