turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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