i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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