it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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