508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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