Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
my poor anus
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
