I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
My feet surprised me
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize