i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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