dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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