we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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