Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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