one might say we're banned from that church
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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