Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
