she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
