Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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