Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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