the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
