Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
