i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
