you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
