Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
