i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You may now shotgun with the bride
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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