Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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