If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
The maid of honor just puked.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
