Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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