just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
